Choosing Adoption

Many will come to the decision to adopt after a long arduous battle with infertility which can leave many emotional scars.  Deciding to pursue adoption after such a journey can take a lot of soul searching for both you and your partner.  Since adoption is another long and sometimes anxiety filled process, you both must need to be up for the task.  The pressure to be on the same page at the same time can be overwhelming, but give it time.  It’s not an easy decision to make and it deserves a high amount of consideration.

You need to understand the grieving process that you must go through before or while making the decision to adopt.  Most women have dreamed their whole lives of being pregnant and giving birth.  It is viewed as a rite of passage, the thing that makes you a woman. Similarly, passing your biology along to your children may have been a very important part of the union with your partner.  Not being able to fulfill those needs can really throw your emotions into a tailspin.  You owe it to yourself and your future children to take time to properly come to terms with that.  That is not to say you will grieve, be over it and move on to adoption.  It’s not always that black and white.  You will likely grieve for the rest of your life about the loss of your would-be biological family and that’s okay.  What you need to figure out is how to accept that while moving forward to the next step in your family building efforts.

Once you have come to terms with this transition, you will feel an incredible weight off your shoulders.  Some say they feel a renewed excitement or hope going into the adoption process.  After years if disappointment and heartache, knowing that there WILL be a child at the end of this journey may put you in a state of satisfaction that you haven’t known in years.

“Getting over” infertility may never happen, but accepting it is a crucial part of beginning your adoption process.  After getting to that place, if adoption is still the best answer for both you and your partner, Congratulations!! You are on the path to a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment with the family you have waited so long for.