Adoptive Breastfeeding - Intro

Choosing to adopt a baby means that you, as parents, must make even more decisions before bringing your baby home: domestic or international, open or closed, girl or boy, cloth diapers or disposables, breast or bottle…WHAT?  Isn’t it a given that adoptive parents must bottle-feed their babies formula?  Remarkably, the answer is NO.

Almost any woman with breasts can breastfeed a baby.  You don’t need to be biologically related, you don’t need to be pregnant first, you don’t need a uterus or ovaries, and you can even have implants.  As with anything else associated with adoption, it will take patience and dedication, but the end result is worth the effort. 

If you don’t want to (or aren’t able to) breastfeed, formula is still not your only feeding option.  You can still give your baby breastmilk, whether you express it yourself or find other sources.  Your baby’s birthmother may be willing to supply her milk for a while.  You can purchase breastmilk from a milkbank, or in certain cases (such as medically-fragile infants), you may be able to get a prescription for banked milk.  And believe it or not, there are lactating moms out there who will donate their extra milk to you – at no cost, except perhaps shipping.

Do Women Really Do This?

So, it is possible to breastfeed an adopted baby.  It sounds intriguing, but the idea of nursing someone else’s baby seems a bit odd.  Do women really do this?

First of all, once you adopt, that baby is yours.  Yes, someone else gave birth and may even remain an active part of your triad, but the baby is 100% yours.  Secondly, the idea of wiping someone else’s behind also sounds odd, but you probably didn’t give that a second thought.  It’s all part of parenting.  Some aspects are more pleasant than others; some are more controversial than others.  The concept of adoptive breastfeeding might seem unusual to some, but it’s been practiced all over the world for centuries.  Nursing moms would routinely feed orphaned babies as their own.  Since the advent of formula, adoptive moms who chose to breastfeed were few and secretive.  However, in the last few years, there has been a great increase in the number of women pursuing this option. 

Why Would Someone Bother Breastfeeding an Adopted Baby?

The only reason I can see is to pretend that they gave birth to the baby.

As soon as I discovered adoptive breastfeeding (ABF) was possible, I knew I wanted to try it.  After all, I’d breastfeed a biological baby without even thinking about it.  Why would I do any less for an adopted baby?  We’re all aware of the nutritional benefits, but there’s so much more.  Breastfeeding provides and intense opportunity to bond.  It’s not just a means of feeding, but a symbiotic relationship.  Baby needs mom for nourishment and comfort; mom needs baby for relief (and sometimes comfort too!).  Baby learns to depend on mom to fill his needs.  This dependency is the precursor for trust.  Therefore, ABF can be especially beneficial when adopting an older baby or toddler, since they tend to have more difficulty forming attachments than newborn babies.

The preparation for ABF offers additional psychological benefits too.  Many women choosing adoption have endured the rigors of trying to conceive.  Adoption is liberating, but it can leave you without that familiar medical regimen.  Induced lactation fills this void in a positive way.  It can also be difficult to grieve the loss of a pregnancy that may never happen.  Successful lactation renews your self-worth, proving that your body can prepare for a baby.  ABF offers hope that you can nourish your baby the way Mother Nature intended for all babies.  It is something that can last much longer than 9 months, and is generally a much more pleasant experience than pregnancy.  It is also a wonderful distraction during the seemingly endless wait for “the call.”  You have control over what you are doing, and you can see physical, tangible results.

How Do I Begin? – Goals

There are several different methods you can use to induce lactation.  Which one you should use depends on your personal goals and how much time you have to prepare. 

The act of breastfeeding is not solely about feeding your baby.  It’s an embrace that involves all the senses.  While a baby nurses, he makes eye contact with you, touches your warm bare skin, hears your soothing voice, feels your heartbeat, and smells your scent – all in addition to tasting your sweet milk.  The act of suckling strengthens the tongue and jaw in preparation for speech.  It also serves to pacify.  Bottle-feeding with your shirt off can simulate this, but it’s not as intimate.

On the other hand, breastmilk can not be duplicated.  It is unique to each mom and its composition changes as baby grows.  It contains living cells and antibodies that build up baby’s immune system.  It is easily digestible and non-allergenic (although certain foods in mom’s diet may be passed through the breastmilk and cause allergic reactions).

Knowing this, you must decide what is most important to you.  Do you want to teach your baby how to nurse so you both can experience that bonding?  This may mean re-teaching a bottle-fed baby or toddler to latch on and suck properly, which can be time-consuming and frustrating.   Do you want to produce as much milk as possible so you won’t have to buy formula?  This may require months of preparation and lots of freezer space.  There is also the possibility that you may never achieve either one of these goals.  A common objective is somewhere in the middle: focus on establishing a nursing relationship, and any milk that’s produced is a bonus.

Some methods for inducing lactation require the use of medications and several months of advance preparation.  These are ideal for women who are matched with a birthmother early in her pregnancy or are adopting internationally.  Other methods require no preparation or drugs.  These are best for sudden placements or for women who prefer not to take any drugs. 

How Do I Begin? – Methods

The stuff you really want to know.  The juicy details.

COMING SOON!

(Be patient, it’s worth it.  And if you have immediate questions, you can post them on the bulletin board.)

 If you want, the link for the Protocols for Induced Lactation is http://www.asklenore.info/breastfeeding/induced_lactation/gn_protocols.html